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Recently I have been asking myself this question virtually everyday.
I have two boys, one aged 13 and the other is 11. THEY DO NOT GET ON!!!!
They are very, very different personalities, which I think is great. They like different things but also like some similar things too. So why can’t they get along together?
I truly do not know!!!
Now I don’t just mean a bit of sibling rivalry, or fighting one minute and then friends the next. NO they are never friends…………………….EVER.
My youngest is a very loud and outgoing character. He has a lot of personality and loves to be centre of attention. My eldest is quieter, more mellow generally and tends to go with the flow (until it involves his brother).
But it is starting to affect the family dynamics. A family day at home or out is just horrendous. We know it will end in tears (namely ours!!). It seems as a family we cannot simply enjoy time together, just chatting, laughing and having a joke. My eldest can get very stressed by th whole thing.
At the moment our family life is generally our boys taking themselves off to their separate rooms and shutting their doors to be away from each other.
As parents we try to be fair with their disputes. However, we have noticed more and more that it generally stems from our youngest. He makes fun of his older brother and although we all have jokes at each others expense, his delve into what we believe to be bullying!
Whenever my eldest says anything, and I mean anything, he will be sneered at, or laughed at or belittled as though what he says has no relevance.
We have approached our youngest and explained how he is behaving. What makes it worse is that our oldest has very mild Asperger traits ( not fully diagnosed, but noticeable). Again we have tried explaining this to our youngest and have used some books to show him how his brother thinks. IT DIDN’T WORK- IN FACT IT MADE IT WORSE.
Now I know you will all be thinking he must be attention seeking. However, he gets a lot more time devoted to him on a 1 to1 basis because of his acting. I am always with him for auditions and shows. Everything tends to revolve around what he is doing, our Christmas this year was dominated by the fact he was acting in Panto everyday of the holidays.
So I need help. Where are we as parents going wrong?
I cannot see any other reason for it other than our total parent fail!!!
We try everything, we take things ie: Ipods / TV away. We stop him sometimes going to a party or to friends if he has been particularly bad. We also stand by our word and if we threaten something, we ALWAYS carry it through. So you would think he would get the message.
Our main concern is how he treats his brother.
TOTAL PARENT FAIL…………………..surely there is no other explanation.
Where do we go from here…………….it’s quite depressing, for everyone apart from my youngest son!!
Kids care about their pets more than their siblings
I think this is definitely true in our household!! I have 2 boys who literally cannot breathe the same air ( I’m SO not joking). However, they both love our lovely cat Tilly more than anything. They are happy to feed her, let her in and out, brush her, give her treats and play with her. In fact I don’t really have to ask them to do any of it, apart from fill her food bowl!!
How could anyone resist her?? You would have to be heartless!!
This is her in her favourite sleeping place! But don’t be fooled by the cute face she has worked hard and now at the grand age of 1 1/2 yrs she has earned the title ‘Tilly the Terrorist’!! ( from the neighbours).
She has been spotted on my neighbours roof at the top of her chimney!! She terrorises next door’s cats from their own garden, and don’t even start me on the birds!!!
I’m sure you all have your own pet stories to tell, but surely you will agree well cared for pets aren’t pets at all but part of the family!!
Wilkinson Petcare found the following results after a survey about children and animals, and also provided Top Tips for Petcare below:
We’re often referred to as a nation of animal lovers and now a new study shows that our love of all things furry is firmly being passed on to our kids with a poll of children revealing they care more about their pets than they do about their brothers and sisters and their friends.
Over 70% of the children surveyed have a pet, with cats and dogs and goldfish the most likely animals to be found in British homes, but snakes, lizards, frogs and sheep are also getting pampered by their youthful in homes around the UK.
When asked what animal they would most like to have, dog’s were a clear winner, followed by followed by rabbits, hamsters and cats.
But it’s not just their own animals that British children care about with. Our fauna also looks to be in good hands for the future with over 90% of kids saying they are concerned about wildlife.
And their knowledge of what can be found in our backyards is also excellent with the majority saying they would recognise a robin, pigeon, blackbird, magpie, blue tit and a sparrow if they saw one frolicking outside.
Over 90% say they have visited a farm and more than 70% a wildlife sanctuary.
Nearly half of the 7-15 year olds surveyed by Wilkinson Petcare have helped an injured animal, while a quarter have fed a wild hedgehog.
Top Tips for Pet Care:
1. Pay your pet attention. Pets need love and affection as much as people
2. Exercise – The more exercise the better prevention of your pet becoming overweight
3. Visit a vet regularly to maintain your pets health
4. Get your pet Vaccinations. This will prevent them from catching any diseases that could affect their health.
5. Give your pet a comfortable and spacious home/bed – This is where they will sleep and get the rest they need so it needs to be somewhere they want to go
6. Go to a Vet to check you are feeding your pet the right food for them. I.e. the food you give your dog depends on the breed of the dog you have, so it is vital you check.
7. Allow your pet to adapt to its new environment and dogs/cats/horses allow to interact with other animals at an early stage in order for them to know how to react in social situations properly.
8. Watch your pets teeth, bad breath could mean digestive problems
9. Give your pet toys, your pets need to have something to interest them as you cannot be there 24/7
10. Clean and groom your pet regularly, this will maintain their health and help prevent catching disease
For more information visit : Website: http://www.wilkinsonplus.com/pets/icat/catdog/